Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Playing with My Wedding.

Hello All. Just to clarify, this is the same person who created this blog, but I'm posting under another account because I wanted to consolidate multiple blogs.

So, as I've admitted before, I'm not engaged. But my boyfriend and I are those 'you know when you know' kind of people. And we know. We're going to get married. So, slightly obsessive, analytical, future-minded, starry-eyed me, I think about the details. And my boyfriend is totally okay with that, and it actually pleases him. I discuss this stuff with him. So this is not a case of the desperate, naive girlfriend fantasizing about a wedding. This is more the case of a very imaginative (and crafty) girl playing around with ideas and possibilities. We're not engaged for a couple reasons, but none of them have to do with either of us not being sure the other is the 'one'.

And I've been very wedding minded lately. So here are some of my ideas about my own future wedding to Ryan, which aren't really plans because hey, I'm not engaged. It's all up to be changed. But I figure writing here about them will help me organize my thoughts. And again, it's definitely going to be a low budget affair, not only because neither Ryan or I are rich, but because I also think the price tags on most weddings these days is ridiculous.

One interesting thing about me and Ryan is that we've decided on having two weddings. This is not set in stone, but seems the most practical. Ryan lives in India, and should all go as we'd like it to, he'll move here and we'd get legally married here. But as the cost of living in India is sooo much lower (which is part of the reason we'd live here--I have debts and would have to work a full time job JUST to cover them in India) it's SEVERAL months salary to fly to the USA. We can't really ask that of any of his loved ones, and yet we don't want to marry without any of them. So we'd do a non-legal marriage ceremony there (because it's easier, legally, for him to come over as my fiance then as my husband since we're hoping to live in the USA) as well as a reception. Then we'd fly here and have the legal ceremony and a reception for my family and friends. So I get the joy (and burden) of planning two weddings to the same man in a very short period of time. Awesome.

At this time I'm kind of leaving the India wedding up in the air because, unlike Ryan, I'm the totally think ahead kind of person (he likes to think ahead too, he just doesn't as much. lol). And I am not in India to plan any of that kind of stuff. And I don't know how things are done, what resources are available, locations, etc. None of that. So what I figure is I'll focus on the US one now, since really I don't have any need to focus on either one. Then when we are engaged, I can say 'all right, it's just as easy to print out invitations for both weddings here, but it's too hard to transport centerpieces, so I'll have to find some for there' or whatever it ends up being.

Also, while BOTH wedding would be ours, I suspect and even want the India wedding to be more Ryan and the USA wedding to be more mine, because it'll be our opportunity to show that to our guests.

So here's what I'm thinking as of now... and this will change. That's half the fun, the playing around with ideas and changing them:

Pre-wedding stuff:
Invites- self designed and printed. Simple, elegant, on BRIGHT blue cardstock. Nothing complicated, just inkjet printing on cardstock. RSVP will be to a website, as to save postage and trees.

Ceremony stuff:
My gown: I get to have two! I am all about 'the moment' when Ryan gets to see me, and I'd hate for the second moment he'd already seen me in my finery. Now, because Ryan can totally see this blog even after we're engaged I doubt I'll share my wedding dresses until post wedding, but right now I'm thinking the classic kind of gown I've always dreamed of for one of them. But with that, I'll wear classically Indian accessories like these:
Veil Example
Jewelry Example 1, Example 2, Example 3
The second dress will be a white sari, all decorated in gold or silver thread, maybe beading. But it will be over a petticoat and corset, giving me a classic Western silhouette, and with classically Western accessories, like a tiara and pearl necklace.

His attire: He likes tuxes, so I think that's what he should wear. His groomsmen can wear the same.

Bridesmaids: Apparently custom made saris are only like $20, so I think that's the direction we should go. I think it'd be cute to alternate those with David's Bridal dresses in a similarThe color scheme for the less adventurous.

Location/Ceremony itself: In the USA, I'd get married at my church, which is an Episocopal Church. In the Episcopal Church we use a liturgy, so there's not much you have to do to personalize it, it's classic and awesome. We'd just select some readings and stuff. I am considering a 'ring warming' though, having just read about that (the rings get passed out amongst the guests and they pray over them). Don't know if that would work, and won't until I'm actually engaged and meet with my priest.
In India, Ryan's church doesn't own a building, but only rents it on Sundays. So we'd probably get married elsewhere, since it'd cost a lot to rent it for our own use on the day we get married there, but again we don't have to worry about our officiant, we'd just use his pastor. Probably we'd get married at the reception site. In this ceremony we'd probably do the 'write your own vows' thing. Which is weird to me, because I'd always thought if I did that it would mean I wouldn't get the Book of Common Prayer wedding I wanted, but in this case I'd get to do both. Very cool.

Post Ceremony, Pre-Reception:
So here's what I'm thinking. After the ceremony, while the photographer is taking pictures, the guests go to what some might call a 'cocktail' hour. But instead of cocktails, there would be cookies. :) Ryan and I have a total cookie thing going on (in our relationship). It's a inside joke and I call him 'Cookie man'. So I figure I'd have a table set up with dozens of cookies of various type, and each guest would get a cellophane bag or something and could go collect some (or eat them right then). Meanwhile we'd have this awesome thing that my best friend Tabitha had her wedding, where the guests write notes for the couple and put them in a box to be opened at their first anniversary. So there'd be a station set up for that. Then I'd like there to be a tv with our Indian wedding being shown, so anyone who wants can watch that (but they wouldn't have to if they're all ceremony-ed out, as my BCP ceremony is likely to take over an hour, since I want to do communion). And I'd also like to have a sort of photo booth, but have it be a camcorder set up where guests can leave well wishes to be put on a wedding video (which is important to Ryan). So that should be enough to entertain people for 45 minutes or so, so we can take pics and be the first to arrive at the reception site...

... where we serve them the food! We'll put on aprons and serve them the food when they get there. It'll be buffet meets receiving line. This will be our way of reflecting Christ, and serving our guests. After the last of them has gotten their food, we'll get ours. Then we'll eat, and they'll be toasting and dancing and such.
Before the wedding, I want to email our guests and ask them for song suggestions and we'll have an 'ipod' style reception where we have a pre-made playlists of our and our guests favorite songs. It'll be totally awesome!
I don't know if the food will be diy or not. Depends on price and lots of stuff. So does if we have alcohol, but if we do, we'll not have any hard liquor. I'm for having wine/beer kind of stuff, or at least a toast and punch, but since we'll be on a limited budget, many of the reception sites I've looked at are no alcohol places.
What I want in reception site is one large room, with room enough for tables, buffet and dancing. Indoors. And around here, that is HARD to find without paying an arm and leg for. Might end up using the church gym.

So I'm painting vases. Already started that. And for flowers, I think I'm totally going with these:
Wood Roses
I also think I'm going to have black and white photos of me and Ryan blown up and mounted on foam board. And I'd want more kind of cool stuff, but not sure what. Depends on the location and it's limitations and I really don't know that yet.
Well, as far as the church goes, my church is pretty enough I don't feel a need to fancy it up.
And I think my bouquet would be those wood roses, and I would like my bridesmaid to enter with hymnals, open, with a single (apparently wooden) flower lying in the middle. Very elegant to me.

All right, that's most of my ideas at this time. We'd print our own programs, transport would not be rented (maybe borrowed from someone, but if we use our own car, that's cool too lol).

My top budget is $5000, but I think we may not even be able to come up with that, so we'll see.

I definitely want a photographer, but again, we'll see.